Tuesday, February 15, 2011

So I made this intro to a story

It's called Assassins End. I'm still working out all the details in my head but this is for sure introduction for the series. ENJOY! :



"January 15, 925
This is the coldest night in the Tekana family. I don't know what to say. Nothing is right. Everything is wrong. What did they do to cause this to happen? They were peaceful people doing no wrong. I don't understand. What caused all this to happen. In their home?!
I went from my house to the Tekana's fair house. I wanted to see my sweet friend Ayumi like I always did every week. Then as I came to the door my heart suddenly came to the feeling of disgust and uneasiness. Something happened that I didn't understand at the time. Until I opened the door. I felt a coldness go through me as I reached for the door. As soon as the door opened I knew something was wrong as I saw inside. The lamps were dimmed and the house was dark. A few things were scattered as if there was a struggle of some kind. I didn't know what to think. I only felt fear for Ayumi and her husband. As I with a deep breath unsure whether I should continue on went through the halls very hesitantly. I saw as I went through the halls some cabinets and chests were opened in much disarray. Not all the cabinets were open and chest were open. The intruder stopped at some point. Then farther in the house the walls were sliced with a sword as it seems the intruder had been caught in the act at some point and swords were drawn from the intruder or Mr. Tekana-san is not sure. I then peered in their bedroom seeing if by any sheer hope of a chance no one was hurt. I saw Mr. Tekana-san laying on the floor lifeless on his side. As well as my Ayumi...facing toward him on the floor as well lifeless... They both were murdered!!! I collapsed and started to break down. “hmmm!!!” I heard a noise. I looked to the left of the room. It was a man wrapped around in a tourniquet cloth from head to toe with a red robe. He was the intruder. The ASSASSIN! He turned and noticed me. I was about to scream. As strange as his appearance he looked around as if he knew where everything was even with his eyes covered in bandage. He directed his head towards me as I was crawled back toward a wall in shock hoping he wouldn't hurt me he turned behind him making his decision whether to fight or flee. As he turned I saw behind him a child! Little Ayana!!! Ayumi's 5 year old daughter. I grew in more panic. His mission was solely to destroy the whole family!!! As I gathered the courage to fight for Ayana I stood up with tears in my eyes shaking and was about to charge. The assassin then looked to the open window and quickly jumped to the opening making it through. I then quickly ran toward Ayana embracing her and asked if she was ok. She didn't answer only having a blank look in her eyes. As streams still filled my eyes I then looked around if there was anymore trouble coming. I then picked up Ayana and fled away from the Tekana home. I went toward my fathers home and told him all that happened and being the royal blacksmith he assembled guards and went to the Tekana home with his company seeing if there was more danger. I couldn't stop hugging Ayana as I cried holding her for hours.
Why did this happen?
~Sakura Emi"

Critique is welcome.

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